Monday, February 28, 2011

Back from the dentist and I am puffy and drooly and numb. I can't even feel my ears.
You know, maybe I've got this whole cyber thing wrong. You can't see me with my lips curled up on one side and my tongue hanging out.
I should say, "I just got back from shopping and I am windswept, rosy cheeked and am sporting a nice, low-key kind of glamorous look."
Can we just pretend? Because the drooling is embarrassing.
Let's pretend me into a yellow silk blouse that hides all my extra love (that's what I call that roll of squish that keeps coming up over my jeans like a little joey trying to see out of its mother's pouch) and a rocking pair of jeans with elaborately embellished pockets.
Could you please edit out my split ends and give me a loose wave hairdo pulled over one shoulder?
You are so kind! Thank you!
So with that fabulous pictures in our minds, let's get to today's confession. The question is:

Do you believe in having no regrets?

Hmm. Popular little saying. People throw it out there all the time.
I've got no regrets. Gotta live with no regrets.
I personally find that theory absurd.
Regret means you're sorry. Regret mean you would do better, given another chance.
Of course I believe in regrets. I believe in being sorry when I screw up. I want do-overs.
Lots of them. I'd pile them up like a banker with a stack of money.
Haven't you seen this scenario: A former addict who destroyed his family and spent ten years completely wasted says, "but I learned so much and it made me who I am now. I've got no regrets." ?
I usually want to reach through the television and punch said former whino.
Here's what I wish a reformed human being would say:
I hurt a lot of people and wasted a lot of life and opportunities. I regret every minute of it. I am thankful that even though I was so stupid, God still taught me a lesson. I wish I had chosen to learn that lesson without causing so much suffering.
Then I would reach through the television and embrace former whino for getting it.
Having a regret doesn't mean you are sorry for the lessons you learned.
It means you're sorry that you were so thick-headed and ridiculous and prideful that it took so much pain to teach that particular lesson. ( I wouldn't know anything about that ;{ )
So while I don't believe in holding a grudge against yourself, I do believe in regret.
I hope when I die they (whoever they is) can say "she had a lot of regrets and even more personal victories."
I could make peace with that.
So what say you? Do you believe in regrets or no regrets?

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