Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Tapper, where are you?

Owl tell you where I've been!

I missed you all this past week!
cough* cough*
Okay. It was three weeks! I am so sorry!
I realized I needed to stop and blog when I was cleaning my living room as if my life depended on it.  Somewhere from the second floor came the shrieking sounds of my children fighting and if I turned right I saw my disaster of a kitchen so I was racing to create a few feet of beauty and peace where I could sit down and close my eyes and channel my inner Winston Churchill who didn't even get rattled by falling bombs.
I was picking up clothes with one hand and pushing a wailing vacuum cleaner with the other when I saw a fruit snack on the floor. I stooped over so it wouldn't get run over by the vacuum cleaner and about three and a half seconds later I had a quick talk with myself. It went something like this:

Tapper, dear, what is in your mouth?
You are chewing. What is in your mouth?
-Oh! oh. Umm. Tastes like strawberry. Chewy. It's a fruit snack.
Tapper, love, did you pick up an old fruit snack off your floor and put it in your mouth?
It's always best to tell the truth. Did you eat the old fruit snack off the floor?
Oh, Tapper, why did you do that?
-I wasn't paying attention?
That's right, dear. You weren't paying attention. No more eating off the floor. Why don't you go do something to help you focus. How about sitting down and updating that nice blog of yours, huh?
-Yes, ma'am.

My head has been muddled. The Dancer got her kindergarten shots ( I cry harder than they do).  We just finished a five day weekend, which was beautiful and fun, but  there was also lots and lots of togetherness with my girls. And for the past two weeks I've been doing copy edits on my book. That won't mean anything to most of my friends, but my fellow writers just gave a sympathetic chuckle.

Copy editing is the last step before they send a book to be formatted and printed. Several editors give it a thorough examination to find any imperfections or flaws.
Only, to a writer, it feels different. Just substitute "editors" for "doctors" and "your book" for "your naked body", add a sinister laugh track and some deadlines and you'll know kind of how it feels.
I would rather be checked for moles any day.

But I am back now. And I am not chewing anything I don't recognize. So that's progress.
I think I will quit while I am ahead.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Smoothie Huts- Tapper Style

I know I've told you that my girls climb.
Vertical surface = opportunity.
You probably thought I meant the normal things like trees and ropes and playgrounds and walls and banisters.
And you'd be right. They climb all those. The dancer likes to curl up on top of the fridge when life on the ground is just too limiting. I cannot go anywhere with them without telling them to Get Down! Even our peaceful evening walks are becoming a problem because as I start out down the block, they are determined to do this:

Please do not call the fire department when you see these. They are not stuck up there. They are just enjoying their natural habitat. And I am formulating a plan to utilize the craziness that is my life.
If I move to Hawaii (I love how this is sounding so far) can I make money sending them up for bananas and coconuts? We can run a smoothie hut.
It is a win/win/win/win situation.
I will be in Hawaii.
The Artist will get smoothies.
And the girls... well, I'll coax them down somehow.

I will raise my glass of pineapple juice to that and see you in Hawaii.