Saturday, February 5, 2011

Confessions! Rebel

Since I posted yesterday about how I believe in dinner, I decided today's question should be:

What is something you do not believe in that goes against the grain?

Well, Self, thank you for asking. I've been wanting to announce that answer for a few years now. Against all popular practices of our day I do not believe in being busy.
I know - I'm such a rebel.
My sister, the Manager, makes a list for everything! If you are not related to me you have no idea how literal I am being. My daughter once asked the Manager to get something out of her car and she wrote it on her list! Now in my brain it takes equal amounts of time to get something out of a car as it does to write about it, but that is my own puny brain. The Manager can run a high power law firm with cunning ability, but her life exhausts me. Hearing about her life exhausts me. Every day her list includes hundreds of items.

I believe in big, blank spaces on the calendar. If I find myself with no scheduled activities I don't panic. I usually scroll through my family and friends and reflect for a moment on whether any of them need anything. I catch up with a phone call or jot an email. I let the Dancer paint my toenails (the purpler, the better, in her opinion. Is purpler a word?) or catch a few minutes on the History channel (totally addictive). I write a blog post, read a poem or just let my brain imagine things. (I have a little problem with imagining conversations with people. Then when I see them I can't remember if we covered that topic in reality or just in my head. I need to stop doing that!)

I like to think I work hard. I get my laundry done and my dishes clean and my children are washed, brushed and dressed. I cook every day and keep track of school assignments and lesson times. But when the business of the day gives way to a quiet moment of nothing, I embrace it without hesitation or guilt. In those unhurried minutes I often get my best ideas. (I usually forget them later, but trust me, I have impressed myself with my brilliance many a time.)

The person I really want to be is someone who talks slow, listens long and makes every person I come across feel like they are the priority of my day. So if you see me in the express lane of Walmart begging the Dancer not to do acrobats on the rolling cart and informing the cashier that she just rang up an item wrong and I do not take the time to let you know how much I care about you (Sorry, Karyn!) just know that I am working on it. I might be hectic and anxiety-riddled and crazy, but I am not too busy for you!

1 comment:

  1. I love this post. I wish I was a little more task oriented, but I love the idea of being okay with all the blank spaces of life.