Thursday, February 10, 2011

Economics of Band-Aids

If the economy truly collapses and civilizations falls into ruin, I have a way to ensure we get firewood and granola bars and deodorant. I will barter with Band-Aids.
Now run-of-the-mill brown bandages will probably only get me a few matchsticks and a pack of gum, but wait until once-pampered rich kids get splinters from collecting mushrooms for dinner and then infect them while gathering cow patties for fuel.
Their parents will hang around my back door with their hoods pulled up and their faces in shadow.
We hear you've got the stuff.
Maybe. I might have a spare.
Yeah, well my kid won't take any
thing but Spiderman.
(low, long whistle) Big shortage on those. They are remarkably shiny and they have extra stick.
So what's it gonna take?
I'm gonna need M&Ms and some ibuprofren. It's that time of the month.
No way.
Okay, have it your way.
Oh, forget it. Just give me two Spidermans and I'll get your stuff.

It's a sound investment. I stock up in every color and character. The Dancer got a paper cut from a Fruit-by-the-foot wrapper yesterday. It has recieved about forty seven Band-Aids since then. I tried to tell her to shake it off because I didn't want to dent my stock right when Egypt is looking so shaky. She cried harder.

Oh, and FYI, let's address the hair.
Went to the dollar store today and would you believe that for only 100 pennies you, too, can look like a princess? Can't get it off her. She is Rapunzel from Tangled and I am the "bad mudder." (gotta say - I'm a little worried about that interpretation)

I spent the day with my friend, the Inspired One, who does not believe in princesses or Band-Aids. I had a great time in her gorgeous house (hence, her label of Inspired One. She is an artist and designer and decorator), but the Dancer probably maxed out the Inspired One's daily tolerance for ruffles, fake hair and superficial injuries.
Hey, Inspired One, I'm getting your kids Band-Aids for their birthdays and I will be their favorite friend's mom. I like to start campaigning early.
And you'll thank me when you have to barter for toilet paper.


  1. I'm looking at that top picture and trying to figure out how her hair grew so long in the last 4 months since I've seen you!!! LOL! Duh, dollar store wig, I should've known. Oh, and in our house you only get boring flesh colored bandages....can't fetch much in a barter for those. ;)

  2. Bandaids make the world a better place. I bet if Mubarak had had Spiderman Bandaids, there would never have been a need for an uprising in Egypt. They fix everything! :)