Tutorial Tuesday: Do It Tapper Style!

I want to post pictures, but I can't until tonight.
My camera's not broken. I could find the time.
I just don't want to steal my own thunder. I can't give away my secrets quite yet.
I have been working on this table for the Relief Society dinner all week.
They give you a white table cloth and you must make the table a magical place for eight women to enjoy.
Yikes! This involves craftiness. I've been cutting paper.
No, I don't know what I'm doing. It's a jumble of ribbons and paper and most of all, nerves, over here. These women can do amazing things; They can cook and knit and sew and scrapbook and decorate and did I mention knit?
So I can't go make a fool of myself.

So quick Tuesday tutorial: how to decorate a table for Relief Society Tapper Style:

First: Sign up when you don't really have to. This way you can yell at yourself later and say "Why did I say I would do this?"

Second: Visit Michaels and hobby lobby looking for inspiration at least eight times each. This will both intimidate you and drain the car of fuel while gas prices are high.

Third: cover your kitchen table in place setting ideas while your family walks wide circles around you, trying to avoid your neurosis.

Fourth: Make your friend from the other ward come over and tell you it looks amazing. You might have to prompt them by saying something like, "You love it......right?" Or "You think this is sheer genius.... right?"

Fifth: make one last run to every store in town in case something amazing is waiting for you out there. It isn't. Now you must fill the tank. Big Ouch!

Sixth: Get nervous and decide that maybe you can bribe people to sit at your table if you buy eight pairs of designer heels and just slap them up on the plates as party favors.

Seventh: Realize you don't know the right sizes and nix the really great shoe plan. At least the husband is happy. He just saved about three hundred dollars.

Eighth: Make fun of yourself on your blog so you can see it in print and laugh at yourself.

Ninth: Take deep breaths before the dinner and practice saying, "What? This old table? I just had a few things lying around. It was nothing."

I think you're ready to try it yourself. Don't forget extra tape, fresh napkins and take some time to observe the beheading of chickens.
Just to make sure you get my technique of running around just right.

Addendum to Original Post:
So I am home and had trey mucho fun. Now I can post a pic so you can see the fruits of my labor.
Here it is:
Ta Da! Hi, Bunny. ( Bunny is the sweet woman at my table. And that's not code. That's her real name! We love her.)
This was fun! And to make sure my table wasn't completely ignored I used base bribery - I put two dark chocoolate truffles in each bowl. I know - it's low. It's a cheap trick of the insecure.
It totally worked!
Here are just a few more of the many great tables I saw tonight:

Great job, ladies! Thanks for always setting such a high bar for me to reach toward. You always stretch me and make me better. I love you!