Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Just don't sound like an idiot...

I had my first public speaking engagement as an official author.

I was the keynote speaker at the Olathe Friends of the Library fundraiser and I got to stand up in front of 200 people for over half an hour and tell them why libraries are amazing and authors are a little crazy.
Because we are.
It's not a normal existence.
Expose my innermost thoughts?
Face years of relentless rejection?
Sit alone at a table in a bookstore trying not to make people feel awkward for ignoring me?
Get paid in peanuts and pennies.
Yeah, don't everyone rush at once.
But still... still... it has a ring to it. I'm an author. 
My sister came into town and my family showed up and the room was packed and I had three thoughts in my head- Don't stutter. Don't say "Ummm." Don't sound like an idiot.
It all passed in a blur, but the response was great.
You know how the Artist is always cool as a cucumber? He was almost giddy.
You know my in-laws who modeled the cool as a cucumber thing- they got me this whopping bouquet after the event ended!

And yesterday while I was grabbing books at the library a librarian pulled me over to her desk and said, "I want you to see something."
It was the holds list. 30 days before my book hits the shelves dozens of people are lined up to check it out and read it.
Is it appropriate to hug a librarian? Would anyone understand if I cried right in front of the travel tourism shelf?
Don't worry. I had my mantra.
Cool as a cucumber.
Don't sound like an idiot.
"That's great," I said with a smile. "I hope they like it."
Which translated into Tapper speak is roughly, "Well, punch a duck and break the sound barrier, that is bloomin' awesome!"
Or something thereabouts. Tapper speak is a really hard language to interpret...

p.s. I do not actually advocate punching ducks. Stay cool and love the birds, people.


  1. Good save at the end there. PETA was gearing up to come protest your next speaking engagement. Haha, you were AMAZING and everyone loved you and once they read your book they will love you even more! I just KNOW it. :)

  2. You were great and I'm so happy for you!

  3. I think punching a duck would be awesome. If he were a really annoying duck that wouldn't leave you alone. Actually, punching a goose would be better. Geese stink.

    Wish we could have been there!

    luvs, aby

  4. I watched it on line and it was delightful! I am so proud of you and I only hope you see yourself as so many others see incredibly beautiful, talented, witty, intelligent and spiritual woman! And to think I had you all to myself for 9 months! I actually talked to you a lot during those nine months...I knew you were special for many reasons. Now I know so many more. Love you