I recently watched one of those pageant shows with my daughters for a specific reason. I waited until the little girls came on screen plastered in make-up and hairspray before I turned to my daughters and told them something they need to know:
Those girls do not look a fraction as beautiful as you do when you throw your head back and let the happiness in while the laughter comes out.
I'd rather sit and hear the thoughts in your great mind than see you parade in a thousand gowns.
I would never feel as proud of you standing on a stage as I do when I see you kneeling in prayer.
Those girls... those girls.... those girls.
Those girls are beautiful and precious and creative and I wish someone would wrap their arms around them and tell them that nothing they wear can make them more lovely than they already are.
No routine they practice is as wonderful or humorous as the spontaneity of youth.
No crown they wear will make them any more royal and special than they already are.
If I could tell my daughters one thing about beauty it would be the same thing my father told me when I was a young woman and we didn't have money for the right brands or fancy beauty salons.
He said, "There are a lot of things that money can buy. But it can't buy class. It can't buy poise. You have both and it makes you more beautiful than you know."
Thank my loving God for a wonderful Dad.
I look at these faces, I look at all the faces of all the little girls and it makes me sick and sad that someday they will pinch their thighs and wonder if they look "hot."
They will pout their lips and wonder if they are "sexy" enough.
My dear, sweet, powerful, intelligent girls- do not believe the cruel lies that surround you. Let your crown of beauty be your kindness and integrity and resourcefulness.
If someone cannot love you for your smile, your guts, and your creativity then they don't have the right to love you at all.
Oh, I hope enough brave girls band together, support one another and reject the world's counterfeit definition of beauty.
I hope they see themselves like their mothers see them- beautiful miracles.
Oh, Regina, you hit the nail on the head. I wish all my granddaughters knew this as well.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I would say to you- tell them! Tell them every time you see them. Hold them close and tell them and when they look into your face, they will see a woman of beauty who knows what she is talking about!
DeleteMy dear Regina, thank you for saying it so eloquently. I know I will quote this and share this and treasure it up. As one of seven daughters and a mother to five of my own, I'm all over this.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. I admire so much what you are doing for your wonderful family! Thank you for being a fellow believer in who we are and not how we look!
DeleteLove it! I want to take what you said and frame it to remind me of what to tell Eva some day when she is wondering those same things, thank you!
ReplyDeleteYou won't need the reminder. A mother like you will show it and say it in everything you do. Thank you for raising for a beautiful girl.
DeleteWonderful post and thanks for linking my blog. Here's hoping our beautiful children really understand what's important.
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful sentiment. I wish not only young girls, but grown women realize that they are worth so much more than the gowns and cosmetics and jewels of vanity's pageantry. That they don't have to beautiful - they just need to be themselves.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Alexandra. You are absolutely right. This issue is ageless. Every woman should be told how special she is, regardless of how closely she conforms to society's mold of beauty.
DeleteThis is amazing. Your words and faith will change the lives of girls and women. This is so unbelievably powerful and I'm grateful for your courage.
ReplyDeleteThank you my friend. I believe it with all my heart. I think the only way to keep them from believing the lies is to tell them the truth... constantly. You are on my mind right now! Thinking of you.
DeleteI have stumble across this post through someone else's link. This is so beautifully written, and so close to my heart as think of my own daughter. Thank you for such a wonderful post.
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping in and commenting, Marie. And welcome to Tapper and Company. It is a treat to have you. My best to you and your little girl!
DeleteRegina, my very best wishes for your little girls.
ReplyDeleteWith a caring mom like you, I don't think you have anything to fear. I live in a world where I think girls are "scary", and for years I had dreaded that my daughter would one day turn to be the product of her environment and dress and act like most of the other girls. But I forgot that HOME was first of all her closest environment. Home is where she learns what matters.
Now she's 15 and she hates shopping for fashions and she spends all her money on books. She has so many books they have long overflowed her bookshelves, so she got rid of her clothes and has turned her wardrobe's shelves into bookshelves, and still she buys more books. I say buy ebooks, but she loves the feel of paper and rarely uses her Kindle.
In her teenage mode, she disagrees with me over many things often, but she helps me assesses and edits my friends' YA work. This is the one thing we have in common. The manuscripts we review normally have red and blue comments, she and I giving input together. We normally agrees on the substance, but fight over the writing styles, like, I would advise on shorter sentences, but she says, "Not all kids are stupid and have short attention span. Many have the ability to digest longer sentences." We argue a lot about how a sentence would sound better. We argue a lot, but we argue on topics requiring intelligence - never about what I'd previously dreaded out there.
Every night I go out to take my 9pm train to my office because I work at night. On Thursday evenings - the evening after payday in Australia - all the "animals" will come out too. In northern Sydney where I am, Thursday night is the party night for the under 20s (somehow, the older ones party on Friday and Saturday nights). Now, employment is very easy in Australia. Money comes easy to kids. And they spend it on parties - on "fashion" (if you can call it that) and on drinks.
It's winter in Australia now. Girls wearing nothings (we don't have snow, but it's still 5-7 C degrees! or 41-43 F) will flock my train tonight. They hunt in packs. They are very noisy, very loud. The gay boys aren't so loud. I like how they normally look fashionably good and they're really friendly, but a few walk around smelling of sex (yikes!). The chats going on around me are sure to inspire my next novel/s. Three girls and a boy agreed about how if they couldn't pick anybody else at the end of the night, they'd just end up being foursome. How sad is that? Virginity is not a big deal in this society - but how about some self respect???
I talk about this with my best friend's daughter (I'm her second mother) who also parties. She says they don't dress any worse than the swinger mums. Swinger mums? What animals are those? Well, apparently, many married couples who choose to stay married think it's harmless, and trendy, to go out and have fun too. And how on earth can such parents demand modesty from their kids? Does it even occur to them?
I think of my very innocent daughter at home. She isn't stupid. She knows what's going on out there. But she's chosen to respect herself.
I feel so lucky to know you. Your words are so eloquently written and you take the things I feel in my heart and turn them into the most beautiful words. Thank you for sharing this beautiful post with all of us. I hope it's ok but I re-shared it on facebook....I think everyone should read this! <3 <3 <3
ReplyDelete*crossing my fingers this comment will post*
Your crossed fingers worked! Thank you, my friend. I am honored when my words matter to people I admire so much.
DeleteMore than telling those girls in the pageants on tv, someone needs to tell their moms. This is a wonderful post. You tell your daughters these things each day by the way you live your own life.
ReplyDeleteamen sister!
ReplyDeleteOnce again...feeling so lucky to know you. For my sake and Anna & Andrea's, I hope I get to be your friend forever. Talking to you and being around you...forces me to TRY to become a better human being - and a more eloquent speaker.
ReplyDeleteYour #1 fan.
Gabs.