Sunday, July 10, 2011


Friday something really wonderful happened.
A small thing.
You would have missed it if you had been watching me.
You wouldn't have written it down if you had seen it.
So unremarkable.
And so wonderful.

I took the girls swimming in the intense heat of the Kansas afternoon. We splashed and jumped and paddled (how do mother's keep their hair dry? No really - how?!)
And we went home exhausted.
I think I'm drooling but I'm too tired to do anything about it exhausted.
Glazed eyes.
A little pink from the sun.
And the Dancer dropped off to sleep sitting in her chair.
I eyed her carefully and decided to give it a try...
I scooped her up and resettled on the couch, her hot, heavy body snuggled up to mine.
And it worked!
She nestled in and slept in my arms- rosy cheeks, sweaty head and all.
I flipped on the t.v. and laid there in mother heaven.
All was quiet.
I had a perfect excuse not to get up and clean or cook or call anyone.
I was doing my job as I breathed in and out and tried to see if our beating hearts would match rhythms.
She is almost four.
Every time she sleeps in my arms- really sleeps- and I can kiss her head that smells like cut grass and sunshine, I count it a wonderful blessing.
I am all too aware that every time (and they are few and far between now) could be the absolute last time I rock my own sleeping baby.
For all the thousands of reasons I love to see my children grow up, this is one reason I am sad they cannot stay small.

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