Wednesday, January 9, 2013

33 going on 103

You know how I kind of have an old soul?
I used to look longingly at the teacher's lounge door, feeling bored with the third grade cliques and the tedium of recess. I would have taken a fascinating adult conversation over four square any day.
Well my freakishly too old spirit is influencing my body.

Exibit A:
Bruise of massive proportions.
Now go ahead- ask me how I got that monster.
It's a great story.
I. Sat. Down.
At Noodles and Company I was casually taking a seat, bumped my leg on the corner of the booth as I slid in and wa-la!
Whole new meaning to thin-skinned.
And yes, that was Noodles and Company. If they want to avoid the bad press they are welcome to send me a year's supply of Japanese Pan Noodles. I think that will alleviate the pain and suffering.

Exhibit B:
My mysterious illness last week.
I went to sleep and woke up with what looked like a third degree burn on my neck. After a three hour hunt tearing my room apart looking for a bed bug or spider (actually cut open my box spring because I hate bugs that much) I found nothing. I determined it was a freak allergic reactions and left it alone. Three days later I was in so much pain I finally gave in to the Artist who had been looking at me for seventy two hours saying, "Seriously, you're not going to go to the doctor?"
After four seconds in the exam room the doctor told me I had shingles.
You know- the retired old man disease.

And the Artist is laughing his oh-so-young and cute head off because I am the one who runs from sugar and white bread and all things over processed, thinking that will keep me young.

I am a great admirer of maturity. I respect my elders. I would just like to get there gradually. I am asking my body to hold it together a little longer because I am having too much fun to bleed spontaneously and sprout goiters and.... hold on.
I just realized I am talking about my aches and pains. That has got to add fifty years to my age right there.

Here's to youth for the brief moment when it is ours.


  1. Yeah. That cliche about how if we don't have our health, we don't have anything, it's taking on new significance the farther I get from my 20s. *sigh* Sorry for your pain and suffering. I refuse to discuss my "retired old man" issues in public.

    1. I know- I should grow some shame and shut up, right? :) I don't know which is more sad- trying to accept our aging bodies or going to desperate measures to avoid them.

  2. Shingles, aack! What a literal pain in the neck.

    Let me know if you need anything. How about taking that time at the temple sooner rather than later?

    luvs, aby